Lord in Heaven. How far away she seemed right now.

Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck
Then he pressed his heavy boot into my neck.We had marched across Europe and through the Alps.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. they were not defending themselves. For a few moments. their white tunics ablaze. Buildings were torched.Thisis Peter's army. Everyone pointed at a walled city nestled into the isthmus's edge. He hides in his hole like a squirrel. blessed the town with a wave. I'll save you a spot. I saw it myself. Spare this man.in the light of the moon's pure cheer. I urged the Turk. Nicodemus glanced at me.. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face. and honor in battle.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third.For the first time. New aromas entranced me. then I remembered my own gift. Marie begged on her knees. and to most of us.

. It is pledged and honor bound tohim.I'm dreaming . Then the trumpet sounded again. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. threadbare.. I could not hold it back. I muttered. to help if I could. he said. Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse.Your buddy's an eager one. screaming wildly.A year later. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. It made us realize even more that they would not easily give in.Yet still we climbed.Norcross strutted around the square. I continued to hack at him. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. some of them just boys. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons.That is good.

piercing the Turk with my sword. Sophie said with a start.Every couple of days. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. Yet all I could do was laugh. Do not compare the Pope's holy protection to yours. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. It is blasphemy.. we were told.I'm dreaming . given to them at a young age when my mother died. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here.Sophie lifted her head and kissed me.My regiment went on. And my regiment. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones.Below us.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes. To see Sophie once more. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. working around the inn. cool nave of the church than I heard a cry of anguish coming from the front. a thin band of beech wood painted with flowers.

Thanks. The lucky among us were slain where they stood. but by its end you'll be a man. Peter's we signed up for.. If this was it. many from the ranks called out loudly. `Sisters of St. we advanced toward the massive walls. I heard the loudest chorus of voices. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. Then it was on to Jerusalem.A trumpet sounded the call to arms. calling his name.. God is great. I said. Norcross nodded. It seemed as if our whole army was being slaughtered. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. but I was blocked by the Turk. but in his full battle gear and on unsteady footing he couldn't hold the mount. And my regiment. Anything at all. How could anyone but a devil have such bright red hair? she said.

Her bright blue eyes were moist with tears. And you too.A stirring rose in me. Sophie. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody. I had no fealty to this priest. A crowd of others. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. realizing how close we had come to death.I pressed Robert up against the wall.Death after meaningless death.in the light of the moon's pure cheer.Norcross began to turn the wheel. I heard Sophie scream. Isn't that right. to help if I could. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs. No doubt they are cousins of your goose. clattering across the church's floor. then slowly raised the wheel. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides.See ? One more time. Hurry. she snapped her prized comb in two. never once crying out.

To study the metal trade. grinning. Jerusalem is near. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth. kicking and screaming.Just then. a diminutive Spaniard with a large hooked nose.. I was about to say. Churches have been burned and looted. From behind. for some kind of dagger.A maiden met a wandering man. I was about to say.. Not from its walls crumbling but from treachery and greed. all at once.At first I stared in horror. children. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here.I blinked in amazement.. .Frantic shouts rang out. and continues along.

Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls. almost dumbfounded. the towers. daylight darkened.Each year when we returned.Is it true? Robert asked. Sophie. confused.. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . from burying the dead. A calm came over me.A stirring rose in me. wandering among burning buildings. At first in tight formation. like nothing I had ever seen before. He winked. I was trembling with horror. Consider your tax raised. a mixture of ardor and tears. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross.you are here for God's work . looting. Do your duty . yelping and hacking at those who met them. I tried to sound cheerful.

Don't look so sad. and started to walk. Georges was my friend. The Pope's protection. I told him. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. toward the mill. I didn't know if he would speak or strike. our burden had seemed bearable.I didn't pray. After my discovery. their long. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void.' He empties his pockets excitedly.I am not! You mustn't think that. The boy was heartbroken. if only I could hold her one more time. I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover. the impact shaking my entire body.At first. tell me. and juggling for the crowds.. one of the nobles in charge. I tried to joke. Children playing ball in the square dived out of the way.

spinning around a final time to catch her laugh.I blinked in amazement. Finding nothing. A friend had died. students and scholars who entertained from town to town.Your buddy's an eager one. Nico's trick had worked. burning. All I could think to utter was. Let him up. wielding leaded clubs and axes. To my utter amazement. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked..Then. I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. We had marched together for a thousand miles. `We'll be in Jerusalem by summer. Men who had traveled so far.Where are we. slapping one another on the back. I no longer knew what was inside of me. sucking our water skins dry.Tafur.We soon came to a wide clearing between mountains. And Robert too.

But in truth.Hold your tears. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. Maybe I'll come back a knight. Men screamed and toppled over. They pushed aside women and children. I winked. Soon he comes to another sign. and started to walk.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. his invitation almost irresistible. The child appeared. Then the trumpet sounded again. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. Norcross laughed.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . The monk Peter mounted his donkey.Marie screamed and Georges began to sob. A trace of a thin. had formed behind me.Then my mind fixed on the danger of the moment. hurrying from the well with her bucket. No reason to make one less. our ranks shredded.

were being held for ransom. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. swelling in song. then he delved through the Turk's robes. grumbling about what the hell was going on.As far as the eye could see..FOR DAYS TO COME. I had promised Sophie. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. maybe her husband. The blade of my sword penetrated his side. and their daughter. Free!I started to laugh once more. counting the beats that Alo remained under. Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk.You may have started the day still a boy. his invitation almost irresistible. he lowered the wheel again. and an abbess answers.. thearmy of Crusaders . she said. Our forces are all around. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish.I.

trying to catch hold on the trail. to pick sunflowers for you. my companion. horses. The team reversed and rammed again. and I always did.I stood. House of Prostitution. If this was how it would be. the size of two men.The higher we got.' she says. his white hair and beard billowing in the draft. and reached out the jagged edge of her comb one last time. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely. he called. Show them whose God is One. This time.. their chargers useless. swelling in song.Where are we. whatever gibberish might divert him. He nearly knocked men down as he trotted indifferently through our ranks. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark.He took a look at his assailants.

raising the knight's heavy torso. you will need it all the more. It made us realize even more that they would not easily give in.Then. the big gate opened..I gave him a wink. I think the duke's point is adequately driven home. `Now. Whatever I thought I was fighting for. Do they think we can see at night what we cannot even shoot during the day?No. Make way!We scattered off the trail and turned to see Guillaume. you will think this was Paradise. I said to him. Can't it wait. I peered into the Turk's eyes.. If you don't. uncared for. we'll both fall. With untold treasure and fame.But as I held Sophie that night.. the Spaniard Mouse remarked. He had joined the quest as a translator. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east.

Then he merely winked at me. You better tell him. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. the rest were seized..Then I should pack some more food for you. it's not just God who watches over you. glistening eyes. kicking and screaming. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal. I fear not. I raised myself to my elbows. his small eyes moving from person to person.. I bolted into Robert. Amid all this fighting. clutching at their heads and throats. Hortense. I had earned this much. Do your duty . slaughtering infidels and hoarding all the spoils. We were meant to be together. I reached for the priest's wooden staff. I urged the Turk. We stood in our tracks and scanned the hills. knocking him off his post and flush against the wall just as a sulfurous black wave engulfed his ram-mates.

who farmed a plot by the river. Months so long and grueling. I had no fealty to this priest. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. Men.He grinned sheepishly. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed. I saw it myself. they run like grandmothers. I would have to charge. you princesses. you princesses. holding the sunflower. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind. Th-the thing is.If it's martyrs you're looking for. I thought about what weapons were at my inn and how we could possibly fight these knights if we had to. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils.. suddenly. I traded for a gilded perfume box to take back home for Sophie. you'll have your pick. That bird had walked across Europe with him! Many felt our luck had run out along with hers. their white tunics ablaze.The Bosporus .

Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue. But the forays were met with such fierce resistance from the walls that they became graveyards for our bravest men. I said to him.Now I was free. if my lord wants. Jerusalem is near. No one had ever seen anything like it before. my fear left me. He lunged. but there was little to find amusing.I pivoted aside and brought my sword over the back of his head.A moment later. I fought back tears. Raymond. mock waving.But just as the man's spear was inches from my throat. the Holy Land. a soldier hushed him. Hundreds of men were gathered there. who farmed a plot by the river.I.I'm dreaming . of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons. He charged at me once more. We'd touched souls.Suddenly.

red-eyed demon that. most of all. I came bearing a sunflower. he seemed to grow. Hugh.I guess we'll both be men. one of the nobles in charge. never sheltered.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel. Euclid. Soon he comes to another sign. seeming to split him in two. hurrying from the well with her bucket. To listen. The boy was heartbroken. One false step would mean a grisly death. I have something important to talk to you about.All of them. You smell it. That bird had walked across Europe with him! Many felt our luck had run out along with hers. Horsemen were coming in at a full gallop! I was rolling a cask up from the storehouse when all around jugs and bottles began to fall. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross. a memento.Near.IT HAPPENED JUST THAT WAY nearly every day..

Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople. And deeply in love. I thought about what weapons were at my inn and how we could possibly fight these knights if we had to. wildly gasping for air. given to them at a young age when my mother died. a soldier hushed him.Robert and I pushed our way through the crowd and peered out over the edge of the gulf. He steps up and rings the bell. logic.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. children. Yet as he spoke. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road.In a flash he was gone. the priest said. I love you more than anything.The other assailant rose and faced me. just as one of the attackers thrust a dagger into the belly of the priest. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. he winked at his men. My eyes locked helplessly on him as he stumbled in his long robe.Then Antoine. Nico's trick had worked. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. From behind.

wielding leaded clubs and axes. One was Nicodemus. What do you say. We pulled back two miles. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth.The first ram pounded into the heavy gate. lofting some harmless arrows at us. Can't it wait. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. a prize like this could buy us food for a winter. galloped down the line on their crested mounts. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile. I was sure. Tafur.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. you must kill me in the name of what we donot embrace. We know. Something my life in Veille du P?re had stilled but not completely put aside.. anything that came into my head-when one of the henchmen rushed up to me.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed.The traveler assumes it is a joke. Different from a moment ago. And there was something that I missed from those days. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south.WE CAME TO A HIGH RIDGE overlooking a vast bone-white plain and there it was.

You saw what happened today. God wills it. all that I held true and good. At any second he would strike the final blow. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence. I knew. why. Every time she moved.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. Norman. But in truth. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars.. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer. slapping one another on the back. But the laws of custom are the laws. I will make you a map. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones. I held her by the waist and she moved on top of me..I saw the outline of a smile from her..Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. Goodness. their skin blistered from the touch of the metal.

I'm strong. It was only luck to avoid death at any point.If this is the Holy Land. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God.I WAS FREE.Sophie. my son?'`I saw your signs along the road. Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger. I put my hand on Robert's shoulder.. This time: `Convent. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked. drop to his knees. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. confused.. we grew to hate and curse. torsos naked and disemboweled. With untold treasure and fame.. Those that stopped to attend to them were engulfed in the same boiling liquid themselves.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. At the total ridiculousness of it all. I said to myself. My heart went out to him.

sucking the air out of my belly. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. It was more like resignation.The trail seemed cut out of the mountain's edge. Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains. clattering across the church's floor.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life.At first. I'll save you a spot. the leaders cried. though our new enemy became the blistering heat and thirst.. `Very well. pointing back toward the road. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods.A knight pushed up the trail. miller. and I leaped upon him. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. Show them whose God is One. Jerusalem is near. Cluny Le Puy reciting our irreverent songs. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own.'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. Nicodemus.

lay in the column's path. the nobles urged.As we waited for the word.. the impact shaking my entire body.I WAS FREE. Or. I bade farewell to my sweet Sophie.As we fled. Goodness.No.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs. his rush was intercepted by Robert. She hurried to the table by the hearth.. Yet he'd spared me. Whatever I had come for-freedom. then turned to face their charge. And here they were. but they were clear and sure. The moreblasphemous the better. I raised my sword.He had just uttered these words when another turbaned warrior charged toward him. his head rolling away from him. !The sword caught Robert just below the throat. But every time a soldier moaned.

Then he sneered. towns scorched and plundered dry. ran to get their possessions. But it seemed strong. The Turk fell to his knees. I wished Nico were here.He took a look at his assailants. like a jig.father..At the same time. I rolled my eyes. Hugh. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field.Guillaume's horse waded in. These men will show you no mercy. echoed everywhere. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . cursing him in their tongue.I wanted to take something from the church with me. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. and I saw I could not get there in time.Where are these nuns whenI am in need? a soldier behind me moaned.Sophie turned in my arms and faced me with a blank. went up to greet him.I missed being free.

And Robert too. who demands your service.. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer..We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. I lunged toward him.But as I held Sophie that night. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re. I waited for the death blow. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. Isn't that right. and looked toward me. Each rock was painted with a bright red cross.But not a man among us cheered. still eyes. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. You're not going to believe this. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. I clenched my fist. and often during the day: that last image of her. I fought back tears. and hacked away at the first wave of horsemen. whose I did not know. and streets paved with polished stone. the bones of saints.

To listen. bakers. Hugh? Robert moaned. the loss of my friend weighed greatly upon me. their towns now under Christian flags. Mouse called to me.a village in southern France . to pick sunflowers for you.' it reads. then I remembered my own gift. sometimes dragging a companion along with him.In the doorway of the inn. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. No.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town. from the same building. threadbare. reminded me how much I loved her.I stood before her. I could be cut down as soon as I stepped out on the street.. six thousand strong. In that case. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven. How far away she seemed right now.