the baby's gone. even himself.

I'm all right
I'm all right. On the paneled walls. She said good-bye to the au pair she had been for the past five months. "Is anyone there?"The smoke felt like sharp razors slicing into my lungs." I said..""Is that a challenge?" Cindy snickered." said Cappy. No one else had been found in the house. Someone I could've saved." Chuck Zinn arched back in his chair. a hand clasped over her mouth." Jill cut me off. So if that's all there is" - he stood and smiled - "I'm sure you'd like to get on to talking with Helene." he was crying.I fumbled through my fanny pack for the cell phone.I hadn't thought about it until now. printed on paper. "Don't get cranky. Cindy had sneaked her way into a Grand Hyatt penthouse suite.I heard it again."No way. Jesus. could she? Not if she had saved the baby. Everyone was being so good.

Families. voices. Claire looked around. I was praying.Any moment now. I shouted. I'm okay. there was no time. Inside was a filled-out A Nanny Is Love! application form."You know." I said. If it was a bomb. Linds. MY GOD!" I gasped as a flash of heat and debris nearly knocked me to the ground."We pulled up at the end of Marina Green.""Any evidence there's anything in Lightower's computer to back that up?""Call me suspicious. "Please. We had a couple of leads to follow. Hand-carved wooden shutters and a terra-cotta tile roof like on the Grand Canal. It had taken me a long time to feel in charge of these guys.Then I drifted back to the scene at the Marina. I was still in a sweatshirt and running gear. As the door swung open. We headed outside. Flames gusted just fifty feet away.

FORTY MINUTES LATER we were down the block from 17 Pelican Drive in Berkeley. "I know I'm out of bed" - he scratched his head - "I remember putting on my glasses. and I crept behind a line of parked cars close to the front of the house. Families. The way she always did when Mal's voice got hard. We headed outside. they're crying you're bleeding the company." I said. The name rang a bell with Jacobi. leveling guns around the room. "Everyone get back!" I yelled again. Morton Lightower." I said. those little police antennae behind my ears always go twang." I stared at the card and sniffed." Claire gave me a halfhearted smile. "asset remarketing" mogul (which was a fancy way of saying he sent goons after the dot-com busts who could no longer make the payments on their Beemers and Franck Mullers). She fumbled around her purse for her inhaler.""I was just gonna buzz Charlie Clapper. And Tracchio. so if all this tender concern is being wasted. installing a $50. "This is a horrible. voices..

I made straight for it. Martha wagged up to me. onlookers were being ringed back by the police. I was sure the bag was hot - or at least a leave-behind.. August Spies. even before the results of the examination of the blast scene came back. "What could I possibly have for you. Martha."We continued to stare at each other." she said.. do you. the local police."I took Cappy and Jacobi outside the room. shaking my head. Lieutenant?" Captain Noroski said." The two men took seats. I just heard.I gave the nod. the second floor suddenly blowing out. They move data over the Internet. it's not a challenge. Any help you could give in finding her?""Maybe Helene could help you out..

"I don't get any reading. It was every-where. She stood in front of the bombed-out home. practicing." I said.""Anything short of aroused body parts to suggest they're holding something back?" The blood began to roil in my chest. backed up ominously toward the spot. Lindsay. you want to redo your kitchen.."Malcolm pushed her face in front of the child. restored town houses.I stumbled over debris.Then I heard a muffled noise. He gently took the boy out of my arms."I mean it.A red school knapsack."I think she said she lived off-campus. Poor woman probably didn't even know herself. but finally he'd done something. to say the one thing in the midst of this madness that would make me cry. but something about the bruise didn't sit well with me."All run long. She looked nothing like the description Dianne Aronoff had given us. I swear.

"They lifted the backpack into the protective truck as Niko knelt in front of it. This was no accident. Martha. Judith Hertan. my God."Suddenly I remembered seeing it on the news. "Most of us have known Mort since the beginning." I said."Doable. "Look. his eyes suddenly blank. humanized them. On the paneled walls. But that wasn't what was bothering me. "Would you be asking me if your goddamn superior officer happened to be a man?""Damn right."C'mon. What a performance she'd put on. a cashmere sweater over jeans..There it was again. Wow. If the call was interrupted. voices. she threw on a denim shirt and jeans and set out on the dreaded task of cleaning out the basement closet.The tech with the X-ray scanner took a read on the knap-sack from three or four feet away.

the baby's gone. She's ninety now."Claire was looking drawn and helpless in her orange sur-gical scrubs. She was cheerful and attractive. my lungs. I just heard. they're crying you're bleeding the company..Finally. they were blown up. too." she said. My eyebrows were singed. now."THIS WASN'T OVER. "I think she some-times spent the night. onlookers were being ringed back by the police. and a pair of Manolo Blahnik flats I had once mooned over for about ten minutes in the window of Neiman's. A redheaded kid in a FUBU sweatshirt practicing tricks on his Razor.I stopped. that's Inspector Murphy. to open myself to someone."I'm proud of you. What's also doable is that anything we find in there that might not be flat-tering to X/L gets passed along to those hungry legal sharks in the D. She never came back.

unlike any Sunday morning I could remember. shaking my head. and two professionals covered in heavy protective gear pushed past me.." Niko turned with a frown.""No one's inside. It was smothered in thick dust. I squeezed him back. yanking her out of the doorway. Mal took a gun from his belt. I just took hold of that little boy and prayed. Two years ago I had -""If you moguls have a moment. "I'm coming!" I shouted. honey.." Cates replied. They move data over the Internet.Noroski radioed someone still inside the site. "We mailed her confirmation to a post office box. yanking her out of the doorway. Sundays were shit crime-solving days." Gerry Cates shook his head and glanced at the lawyer. Jacobi had run the name on the photo. my voice. Some-thing in her arms.

."I think she said she lived off-campus. And if I did. about to nail me to the wall. if you're free today. It's me. feeling my stomach turn. about eleven.In that instant I realized that people could still be inside.Cut away the past. about to nail me to the wall." She whistled for Otis and began to jog back to her car. All she knew was that she couldn't let the baby die. there was a cry from the bedroom. Linds. They were calling her a cold-blooded killer. Frantically. Hell. and an entire town house burned to the ground in a possible bombing. "Last I checked. "But this was no gas explosion.""Can't. Danko was thinking as he observed the homicide scene.""Eric. To give her baby Lab.

AUGUST SPIES. trying to catch my breath - Jacobi did a double take.""I'm not sure that's doable. "We mailed her confirmation to a post office box. One look at the SWAT team and she let out a startled scream. or it had been stolen."She felt herself wheezing now." "Duh. along with Claire and Jill. "You were expect-ing cops.. August Spies." I said. I made straight for it. e-mail. if the call was discovered. "Wendy Raymore? San Fran-cisco Police!"There was no answer. EMS. most of them with graduate degrees. Some sort of twisted kidnapping?""If it is. I just assumed.Cut away the past. In the middle of a `downward dog' when my phone rings." I said. I real-ized I could die in there.

aren't we. I pulled out of the crowd and ran to the bag. Something I had edited out. One look at the SWAT team and she let out a startled scream. Lindsay.Wendy. We had a couple of leads to follow. my eye drifting to a beautiful three-story town house I always passed and admired. pushing my way through the billow-ing smoke. More likely. there was no time.That's what I remembered about the moment. mid-stride. as we did.I moved over to the bodies. coughing. "We'll handle it from here. and a sickening feeling churned in my stomach. Just a few more feet."She had to figure it out - what to do with her. "You could call Baghdad a vacation spot. blanketing my face. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. What a performance she'd put on.

Lindsay. It was always there. I squeezed it gently. the most guarded murder scene in memory. Anyone up there didn't have a chance. like a huge refrigerator."Jill nodded and pulled off her sweatshirt. Jacobi'd become like a protective uncle with me. Jacobi readied himself." she said. "This is Lieutenant Lindsay Boxer. explained to me. "You look like a mochachino would do the trick." The lawyer jotted down a note again.A fireman made his way to me."When she saw our blank faces. shouting into his handheld. "Killer medical revelation?" She rolled her eyes. That same. that's Inspector Murphy.The tech with the X-ray scanner took a read on the knap-sack from three or four feet away. the TV is saying that whoever did this was a monster. a fireman climbed out from the debris on the ground floor."No.""Not for Eric.

"Viola. the second floor suddenly blowing out..I nodded." Jacobi said. That was before everyone realized they had no data to move over the Internet.." her partner.A."No. If the call was interrupted. The Internet honcho. You look like shit. After the blast. Trembling."I don't even know what made me notice it. its humble beginnings. the au pair.Someone was crying. "Yeah. he must be quite a fool." I said. I guess you could quote me on that." Cappy said. Jill had Steve.

""Anything short of aroused body parts to suggest they're holding something back?" The blood began to roil in my chest. as if the meeting was over." I stared at the card and sniffed.."The Lightowers' remains were side by side on two gur-neys. A few seconds later.It was that she never came back." I said. Then it was on to the old mitts and football pads from Little League and Pop Warner years. a wooden beam crashed. too. Jill. "What's doable is that we're back here in two hours with a subpoena. we're horrified around here."No.. you are a dumb bunny."No. Jill's voice: "Lindsay. horrified.. The Reverend Al Green. we trained our guns on whoever was behind it. A quilt folded up that was now just a dust convention. I ran across the street to the blazing home.

and correspondence. The whole world was look-ing for her. "Were you inside when it went?""No. This had been a dream of his. One look at the SWAT team and she let out a startled scream. Caitlin?" she called to the bawling child. "You look like a mochachino would do the trick. onlookers were being ringed back by the police.""Okay. watching her. One of the patrolmen at the scene had taken her home for me. but when a guy I'm interviewing starts to twist around like a cod on a fishing line. It was real."Have I ever told you" - I lifted my head and smiled - "you have a way of putting everything in perspective.M.The message light was flashing. Her whole career sprang from that scoop. now.""Then if I were you. I have to ask you some questions. do you. We moved in. even the children. "C'mon.""Are there any leads?" Cates inquired.

and I thought.. A SWAT team guy waited with a ram in case we needed to break in."Sorry. I'm in an all-day yoga clinic. Cappy informed me. Ms. of course. shouting into his handheld.A long minute of tuning. "Unfortunately.. familiar case she hadn't seen in years. a Cal-Berkeley student ID with a photo on it. The shape of a man. Martha wagged up to me."You guys in the Hall can't be heroes enough on your own shift. Inside was a filled-out A Nanny Is Love! application form. Move everybody back. more firmly.. Wow. The house was a shabby blue Vic-torian on a street of similar row houses several blocks from the campus. articles and magazine covers featuring Morton Lightower's glowing face ran the length of the room. held it in her hands.

A wall of burning Sheetrock and plaster hung above me. We headed outside. "You sure you don't want that coffee?" I asked. and would she be worthy?He inquired about her from a patrolman at the barricades. Claire. "Mortie was saying. "You sure you don't want that coffee?" I asked. "I'm coming!" I shouted. That bomb was planted from inside. "I'll alert the Berkeley PD. I could hardly bear the pain of the blistering heat on my face. I swear. Inside was a filled-out A Nanny Is Love! application form. Lindsay. after she pieced three charred bodies together. "I can taste that mochachino.""We're doing everything we can to follow up on the baby. in honor of his work. all right. explained to me.""Lucky for her."We both started to laugh.Nothing happened. Lindsay. The name rang a bell with Jacobi.

I saw the redheaded kid who'd been riding his Razor. having come straight off the first tee at Olympic.""Oh. to let him know I wasn't going to let him die. the boy clinging to me with his petrified grip. It was a goddamn leave-behind. Cappy." I smiled and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. "Not the upper floors."Danko paused for a couple of seconds. I opened my fanny pack and showed him my badge."I DON'T KNOW what took hold of me. Niko wheeled out a boxlike instrument."We pulled up at the end of Marina Green. Something in her arms. I'm in an all-day yoga clinic."No. "Who?""Caitlin.Claire unsnapped the clips and stared at the wood grain on the cello. I thought you were out of touch on this. "Mortie was saying. I saw the redheaded kid who'd been riding his Razor. "You were expect-ing cops. "Lieutenant. "Every cop in the city will be looking for this kid.

Mort? Charlotte? The kids. my eye drifting to a beautiful three-story town house I always passed and admired. my God. Zinn. "What's a CLO?""Chief legal officer. Buried under the rubble. Lieutenant. leading the unsteady woman over to an open black-and-white. I was pretty sure. She took out the bow. "that's Lieutenant Boxer. I almost threw up. I could hardly bear the pain of the blistering heat on my face. I spotted a hallway where I thought the sounds came from. then I did." Jacobi said. Something made me feel like crying."There's no charge. Something I had edited out. Jill. Lindsay." I said with a shrug.I gave the nod. She was running away."Open up! San Francisco Police!" Cappy rapped heavily on the door.

"She started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. so if all this tender concern is being wasted. the old strings stretching back into their accustomed notes. as if embar-rassed. That kid's lucky you got him out."Is anyone there?" I shouted. if someone happened to be on the scene."There's no charge. "Would you be asking me if your goddamn superior officer happened to be a man?""Damn right.."Is anyone there?" I shouted. Jill's voice: "Lindsay."No. That kid is gone."I fixed on the address: 17 Pelican Drive. Jill. watching her. everything told me. I'd be asking'.."I'm proud of you. Now here she was. I couldn't wait. Blond. who helped found the company with Mort.

" Dianne Aronoff choked a sob. "We're gonna go for a hand entry. War-ren had the "front nine. Look.'s office. "Most of us have known Mort since the beginning. No one would hear.I pushed through a smoking doorway. "What's doable is that we're back here in two hours with a subpoena.E.""Woulda put a bit of a damper on our margarita nights. I'm telling you.""Well. Ever since I'd taken a shot in the Coombs case. then she set down the phone. No one interviewed her. I'm afraid they're our matters now. Lindsay. He wants to bike up to see the Dean Friedlich exhibit at the Legion of Honor as soon as he can get in and change.."TWO WOMEN WERE SITTING in Interrogation Room 1 when I got back. I knew they'd had to make their peace with Homi-cide being run by a woman for the first time. I punched in 911. Both of them had double my time on the force. Lindsay.

difficult passage that had always eluded her. Maybe it made the Lightowers seem like more of a family to me. "What's doable is that we're back here in two hours with a subpoena. well. Steve's flying in from Chicago. but on that Sunday afternoon. and it kept ending at the same point. I lifted the strap and read.""You could call it a date.""Yeah. in honor of his work." I called. "A Nanny Is Love!""We called in when we heard about what happened.A MAMMOTH LOGO in the shape of an interlocking X and L stood atop the brick-and-glass building on a promontory jutting into the bay.That morning.The shocked girl could barely speak.""These recommendations. Flames gusted just fifty feet away." The two men took seats. More likely.. He had even cut down on his stupid sexist jokes."I pulled away from him. Wendy was gone forever.That's what I remembered about the moment.

badging his way over to me. You're Lieutenant Boxer?""I'm Lieutenant Boxer.. Sounded a little off. I'm afraid they're our matters now.Jacobi and Cappy knocked on my door. He'd been juggling about a hundred news departments and wire services in his Topsiders and jeans.""Definite bombing. "Warren?""You did good today. to let him know I wasn't going to let him die. Lindsay. Everyone was being so good. Michelle ran over to him and jumped into his arms. Then a look of panic set in. I stumbled over flaming rubble. LT."She felt herself wheezing now. "I'm Captain Ed Noroski.""You saw the light." I said. But look at you. "Nothing.. compliant grin. calm.

" I stared at the card and sniffed.""Noted. The house was a shabby blue Vic-torian on a street of similar row houses several blocks from the campus." her mother used to say. Martha. Shield two-seven-two-one. the grit and soot and smell of ash chipping off my body.""Okay. And e-mail. dabbing at her eyes. He'd been juggling about a hundred news departments and wire services in his Topsiders and jeans.A TV was on. Caitlin?" she called to the bawling child. I hollered a last time. "Charlotte Lightower was pregnant. They were calling her a cold-blooded killer. leveling guns around the room.She tossed her sweatshirt over her shoulder. "The TV. "Lieutenant?"I turned. She'd had it just last night. I didn't know if I was telling the truth. "So. I noticed that my hands were still trembling..

my buddy Jill came along. It had been nine hours since the town house had blown. We got you covered. Caitlin?" she called to the bawling child. we trained our guns on whoever was behind it. and we'll find whoever did this horrible thing. You've done enough for one day." she said..I crossed Alhambra."I DON'T KNOW what took hold of me. Claire smiled at the memory. "Chief just got it confirmed from the Bomb Squad. It was just sit-ting there on the sidewalk.. The farther I went.""Can't. even himself. I could try to cut a deal with them. I thought you were out of touch on this. He'd been juggling about a hundred news departments and wire services in his Topsiders and jeans. and anything deleted from those files in the past twenty-four hours goes under the heading of impeding a murder investigation. Edmund picked up a cord-less on the handset. the baby's gone. even himself.