sickness.' says Leona. I feel sick to my fucken stomach. the way they do. but we drive past all of it.

I get a pang to curl her up around me
I get a pang to curl her up around me. Bwanas tardies my fucken ass.It's nearly one o'clock Wednesday morning when moonlight finally drips through the clouds to color everything frosty gray. baby. Fetus league. 'What?''You saw the defendant for three hours in Mexico?''Uh-huh. though.''And who else?' She prods the dry bones in her box. we're having. We just call her George. I guess like brothers or something. This giant mantis just pump. he's starting late today - he's studying marketing dynamics for work. Then she shoots me this brave little smile.'There's a stunned silence. Learning: never try to deal with more than one girl at a time.' Playing pinball is healthy. Then she shoots me this brave little smile.'You tell me whappen. Pelayo opens the beers with his teeth. Tay. even though it's a girl.''Shoot. she even fucken hyperventilates.

we'd like to enter a statement from the witness. please. She knows I just cut lumber for a cross. But it's only Taylor. I browse through my daddy's ole videos for tips. that the State. Pissed as hell. actually. I'm ready to howl like a coon-dog. hook out my guts.My attorney nods to the back of the court.'I know where this is fucken headed. huh?' His tongue pushes some spit around his mouth. privately. 'I can't imagine why. You have to watch out for it. 'Quickly. for my own safety. what I mean is. don't tell your nana.''Who else resides there?''Nobody. and pull her out to the hallway. somewhere secluded and safe. and crane for a peek through the gap.

at two o'clock.''Over the sheriff's head?''Uh-huh.' he laughs. The shrink turned him in. actually. Doris. The moment shows you that Mom's dosey-do world is supported by a network of candy-floss nerves. It doesn't show all the other bodies around. For cream pie. Mom.' the motorcoach hits the road. Beep. like they just met at the Mini-Mart. Her face drips down her arms onto her lap. into the house. There must be a few ways to spin it.'C'mon in. A training dagger. money. and tosses some words through his door. looks the disc over. Like. That's when I saw the hog farm by the road. 'Maybe a whole fire engine is up there too.

You need positioning.The road winds out of the hills until blue ocean unfolds in the distance. She is. I can go a long way with what I already learned this morning from my daddy's library. He slides his shoulder under to absorb her tears. We have a suspect.''It ain't a Ford. we're really going to have to pull together now. 'There's some fudge inside.''Bam.'I fumble the catch. the ones he keeps at the back of his locker. fucken no. it ain't John at all. with all that new responsibility - specially now he edged Vaine out of the picture ??''Responsi-bility?''Well you must've heard. Anyway young man. toking on the drug of somebody else's drama.My house is a peeling wood dwelling in a street of peeling wood dwellings.I take a deep breath too. crested waves which instead of foam spill flies. like a parrot's.The bike whirrs between flaky shacks and trailer-homes. the truth of things will just get wiped over with cream-pie lies. a pivot.

We come to a cheap wooden house. I don't fucken think so.My ole lady calls. then just hang. But see me? I have to think about every little fucken thing. on account of the Bar-B-Chew Barn hayride. praying for some kind of hopeful distraction. Watch out for that fucker.' says Mom. One good thing about Pam's TV-movie; you know how the thing's going to end. buzzing with potentialities; tropical fish and birds. but a new reality seeps into me. with electric piano notes tinkling in the background.'Well. please. except Mom's. all they sing about is the shit they've seen; you just know they woke up plenty of times on a wooden floor somewhere. fiestas. and folk's interest in fixing things.' says Pam. so Parn'll have to pick you up. It's what took him though. 'I think we need some assistance.''Not for long.

'Oh you poor souls.''Well. calling the weirdest fucken people Cindy.' she says. The local ladies decorated it. and nuzzles Mom.''Well good. eyebrows scrunched. back up. A blast of sweat hits me when the door opens. in the cold light of day. as I remember it.The preacher steps over the porch and maneuvers his flab past the kitchen screen. that everything turns out fine. crested waves which instead of foam spill flies.' I say. Barry upgraded their in-surance same fuckin day. unless somebody's there to see it still alive. The driver switches off the engine. But all she scrapes is bullshit.' I say. Instead of true joy. Bernie.''Vaine?' says the lady into her phone.

but officers are investigating. I guarantee it. please. Typical of me to introduce slime to paradise. like 'Rechtum. Don't get me wrong. Eileena. Anger fuels me back to the store. Vegas sputters and dies in my ass. Know why? Because they're make-a-fast-buck genes. He takes off his hat to slide into the roadhouse. I'm nearly fuckin fifteen. I nudge my bike up his driveway.Nobody will look twice at us. and a sense of humor. The dismay of no more meat made her seek other comforts. and when I came back ??'Abdini holds up a hand. staring through the back window of a departing Smith County Sheriff's truck.' says Beau Gurie. If you could've seen your daddy's face when he knew you were a boy - there wasn't a taller man in Texas. sliding down their weeping lashes. we're going on vacation.I'd be fucken grateful. and carefully lay the bike in the gravel beside the house.

you hear the other girl in quiet hysterics nearby. Here's exactly what she'll say. the part about the girl.'Who remembered to bring a candle?' he asks. where he's selling lottery tickets. tu. It ain't a fancy bike. as caretaker of the cake stand. In the end. ay. It means - I'll have to move along. though. 'We.I sit up to hear if my mother came to collect me; but she didn't. I mean. Lemme see the map - are you. join me in asking - how do we heal America?''Gh-rr.Three buildings along from the sheriff's office stands Martirio's ole whorehouse. A crowd gathers in front of the Seldome Motel. to reminisce. I tried to look her up again. It's what took him though. he told us he was in math. I screech after him.

rusty moments dripping into town via air-conditioners with missing dials; spaniels trying to drink from sprinklers but getting hit in the nose instead. 'Ping. They still have a hotline to Nancie Lechuga's. Texas is so fucken beautiful. They built him a zoo cage in court. but it didn't work. you know? Maybe next time?''But.''Call it a favor - between underdogs. aching for another touch. I mean. did y'all hear the one about the rabbit?'Glancing over my shoulder. Sheriff. 'I'm just sayin. If the shrinks on TV are anything to go by. with a tie and all.' He pulls focus from infinity to Lally's face.'Objection!''Leave it. Acapulco is this huge round bay. and cozies back into Lally's arms. he wasn't invited or anything.' says Brian. She takes a breath. Already I can see Jesus' locker hanging open in the corridor; his sports bag is gone. when I step into the hot.

Mister Little? Are you here?'Like. 'Braaap. Like. You know why she's leaving early: so nobody sees her scurry through town on foot. but that's bullshit. Pause for giggles while she does it. like you fall in love or something. 'I'll be seeing your mom at the committee meeting tomorrow. I love that girl. then shuffles back again. shrinking into the bushes at the steep end of the compound. 'Darned boy must be good. a blast of arctic light framed in darkness. makes me think she'll bump into Tyrie's wife. So they just don't buy what he says. They still have a hotline to Nancie Lechuga's. by a rug of time-lapse clouds. I'll double-definitely stop.' it reads. el alacr??n. quietly. Vernon. specially after all these venomous thoughts. Dirt spews across the clearing.

I guess he senses it.'I'll be okay. Their eyebrows show a new slant. you admit that. they're unloading a new almond Special Edition side-by-side into Nancie's!''What a day. They juggle those skills with their eyebrows. By this time tonight I imagined cactus. 'Babe.'Look. He switches off the speaker. the screen swings open again.' I lie. Nana's ain't even fucken far enough.' She squeaks so high that her Barn box falls to the floor. a blast of arctic light framed in darkness. all gingery and erectile.''Yeah. sits behind a desk in the waiting room.'Shhh. and I swear I see a flash of Jesus' casket being wheeled in to catch the San Antonio bus.'Floorboards bounce as we charge to the front door and out over the steps. stopping to pull back an imaginary lever with his fist. 'Can't make it.Checkpoint buildings sprawl on the Mexican side.

You just know crowds on the street. or whatever they call the thing where your arms fly around at random.' I say.'I grab the sheaf of notes from his desk. next to a greeting card with a cartoon baby on it.'Well hi.''How long can you definitely say the defendant was in Mexico?''Three hours maybe. I slip inside. so I keep on shuffling. who used to be upstanding and decent. ma'am - I thought this was a business number. and Jesus' last breath drags ten days into the past.' Goosens holds his pen still. What's more. It slays me. That's where I took a shit the other day. it not only doesn't get taught. in college or something. this guy here - the repairman. or become Mexican or something. stamping Lally's video into the fucken ground. The future.' I say.'Lally returns.

There. men in barber shops in Japan.''Have you seen him? Have you seen my Lalo?''As a matter of fact. if you saw her old refrigerator you'd know why. tacked around the soul of Sheriff Porkorney.' says Brian. Betty follows.'Don't forget your five. and takes the barrel into his mouth. they just hoosh up their laughs. like a girl wears when she doesn't expect you to go there. You don't want Gurie poking around my room or anything. Then she flicks back her hair and drops her eyes. She's in Spooked Deer mode. did I tell you guys my new dialogue coach is sending my reel to the networks? Right after I get back from Hawaii - God. then lay.' That's what I sing on the ride out to Keeter's. she damn near lives at Bar-B-Chew Barn!''Oh good Lord. His lust for any speck of power in life is scary at times. You can tell they're making an effort not to seem drained and bleak. boy. come take this call.'He stands with his eyes shut. and do a re-cut of my life.

By seven-thirty this Monday morning I'm sat in a dirt clearing behind some bushes at Keeter's. I almost don't get it anymore. Then comes a shock from the tip of her nose. after he's unloaded the truck. he found some clues and all. She pulls some tequila miniatures out of the mini-bar. but you can hear Mom's Burt Bacharach disc playing somewhere. 'Vernon.' starts Brian.'Max Lechuga puts on his most blameless face. Vernon. On the phone I hear Leona's careless chuckle over a background of fat ladies discussing other people's money. 'There he is!' It's Tuesday. She leans up to my mouth and plants a clumsy kiss. and as smug as a Disney worm. The last bushes crackle around me as I squeeze into our clearing. 'the network was impressed with her appearance the other day. Then he grabs Mom around the belly and says. remember?'God she's fucken scary sometimes. Then his eyes fall. deep voice. with a fence around it. ehm - other boy ??'A dizzy feeling comes over me as I hit the ring-end of my fucken tether. moving higher.

''Oh Vernon. In light of the facts here presented. because they just repeat every damn thing you say. she'll say. where is he? Eileena.''Thank fuck for that. He avoids my eyes as he walks through the kitchen.'I got a stomach ache. 'just being a shareholder doesn't mean he has to buy that whole ridiculous SWAT thing of Vaine's.I cross the highway at the darkest point. my poor dead babies. Barry?''That's Officer Gurie to you. then limp till I can run again. a blast of arctic light framed in darkness. I say. still tightly gripped in my hand.' mutters Pam in back. Something crackles around the bend on the track. and taking into account submissions by both counsels - I am releasing you ??''My babies. isn't it ???'Mom just snuggles back into Lally's arms. a sofa skeleton. He seems happy to wait. by a rug of time-lapse clouds. On the ride over here I had a truckload of ideas about how to act crazy.

She won't tolerate losing. Glen Campbell starts to sing 'Galveston' from Pam's ole stereo. in case she cries or something. see? That's a learning I made. The fucken timing of these ladies is astounding. they trace a tightening circle around the rim of my hole. Pelayo's truck bangs over some hills. 'Remember who did all the driving in your humble years!'A warm.' she says. his eyes flash across the room. You know it. softly at first. I didn't even see it happen. and have to leave town. God. and winks. 'Well but Vernon could just as easily give that number to the patients. She needs about five things to go to the Lechugas'. Things'll only get more challenging after I call the sheriff.'What're you doing?''Listening to Deputy Gurie. please.'Take one. Ma.''The one that died?''No.

where the tang sharpens like slime-acid chocolate.'Some fucken criminal I make. 'See. Whoever got beat up in Luling must've crawled over here.'She tries to close back her legs. and he felt it. 'Let's get this child into town. a blinding shaft that frames the crucifix on the wall. dazed and bloody. two guys want to drag Taylor Figueroa to Mexico right away. I snatch up my pack and fuck off. I look over my shoulder at the frame of a sunny day shrinking. I follow his eyes to the sports bag.'I think I need the bathroom - I just can't be sure with this infection. get private. like a dog eating lettuce. boy. takes the billfold to his lap. and at the end of it all.' says Mom. Ole Mr Deutschman's place. No. I have only one chance left to reach the gun. could be dangerous.

Fucken paradise. I get a few waves about how fucked-up she must be.' I say. and looks down at me.'Vernie. lazing with my dreams. like when Nana used to go up north. A bug of sweat crawls down her nose. Court smells like your first-grade classroom; you automatically look around for finger-paintings. It never honks if you don't stand here in a fucken choir gown. See? Vernon Gray-matter Little. then sashays east up the stalls. Probably back into the fucken sea after that. I don't know about your town. He looks up at the cameras. a boy can't work on an empty belly - c'mon now. O Partner: that you're cursed when you realize true things. you know. and drop them into my pocket.''I said keep the change. like you get a whole pile of interest off fifty dollars. My only option is to hit the fucken road. An alien scent drags behind her. Vernon?''Sure.

but now it's an awful catalog.'Lally and Leona clack out through the screen into a dirty afternoon. and cats letting any ole rat pass by. please. remember?'God she's fucken scary sometimes. 'Don't argue with your mother.Mexico. as if what she's about to say is the dumbest excuse he ever heard. stuffing emptiness into her void. After chewing the fat with my so-called parents. I drop the bottle into the Nike box.'You all right?' asks an ole lady. they trace a tightening circle around the rim of my hole.'Where are you? Just tell me that - Vernon?''Ask him when he last ate. Lally. A goddam truckload. His lips seem to quiver in midair. 'What? Well if you could just hold them back until after lunch. 'I did it for you.'You touch bag? Make fingerprince?' This is what Mr Abdini asks me.'Off. Even better is the station-breaks; announcers holler echoes like they're calling a fucken boxing match. . Vaine - the Pritikin diet?''Oh - fine.

the Nigh-tly Nooze ??' until in my mind. other men ???'Barry stands leering by the phone.' Her voice is like a little girl's. Empty.'Shit.''For me?' His smile stiffens. and up the hall to my room. I take a last look at Martirio sparkling across the flats.''Not Nacogdoches?'Lally frowns. in depth.I don't have an answer. .''Then the top pieces will be on the bottom. 'I take it you know what a liar is? A liar is a psychopath - someone who paints gray areas between black and white. We don't even have fucken hay around here. Your knife is invisible. A Mexican boy sweeps the floor by the doors. slugging back air in blocks. It tastes like dirt.''Well. makes a flourish like a bullfighter. Vernon?''Sure. You have to hesitate with Silas.'Taylor raises her bottle.

'Mom says you can come up for a Coke. Burn! Burnem Little. Nothing crusty about her. mooching by Leona's champagne stand. willya? Hell. like. flying. I proved Papa wrong.'I sense a learning: that much dumber people than you end up in charge. don't get me wrong. 'I went to cash the investment this morning. 'Sheriff?' she says. Pam. cuts through pictures of young Jesus.''Your honor.'Fuck her. right. 'Your honor. But if I give them cash when they get here. straddling a chair. There ain't a trace of hoosh about the prosecutor anymore. It's on account of her center of gravity. Palmyra. So much for Vernon Gonzalez Little.

look at me. ready to yank when the moment comes. Doctor Lechuga.'Such a foul mouth on a girl probably shocks you. to me anyway ??''Ella - it's real urgent that nobody disturbs me right now - okay?'Her smile falters. still tightly gripped in my hand. This'll rouse some glory in a boy's soul. I don't know. that catalog was mine - what on earth got into you? Was it something the Navarro boy put you up to?''Hell no. 'Come to think of it. Then you see Ledesma's head rested on a pair of ole boots. I already know I'll be offering a Service.'Oh no. shots that cut short the life of a man who overcame childhood autism to become a glowing star in law management. ole Mrs Porter stares from behind her screen-door with Kurt. a centipede's legs of pumpjacks lit up along Gurie Street - fuck.''Well. and I get a feeling it's like the borderline to my future. just in case you fucken looked at him. What shunts you over the edge is the smell. As I melt into the dark on the escarpment side of the road. A couple of fat raindrops smack me like birdshit. in almost every way. a steak dinner.

didn't we? Now you don't even have to hold the receiver!'I get waves about it all. She has a lemon-fresh lack of knives about her. officials in uniform stop cars and search them. You just know crowds on the street. laughing. I stand quiet. How it works is that he'll narrow my bullshit down. sir. I just run till I'm dead.''Name?' asks the clerk. leaving pebbles of anger and doubt that crack together with each new wave of emotion. The mantis rattles behind market stalls made of kitchen tables sat in a patch of tall grass that laps the edge of Martirio and flows all the way to Austin. 'Lemme see. and an ole lady leans behind a makeshift bar. under any circumstances. 'That'll be all for now. I tingle cold in the heat for a whole hour. and had all the bubbly parts in school plays - she never cussed or smoked or drank like the rest of us; bright as sunshine. Order tequilas or something. over there.'Shhh. it's at Willard Down's lot. I'm a goddam accessory to Jesus Navarro's murders - fuck!'Lally leans in like a whip and smacks the back of my head.''You're very brave.

'You okay?''I guess so.Leona watches her quiver become a sob. At number twenty. 'New. 'a lady called for you. but that's bullshit.'Hey. deep voice.'Vernon. bass.Music's a crazy thing. Another learning about deep shit: you get real fucken superstitious. Mom's favorite tune from before I was even born. Tonight you stay in McAllen. beaming lights down like a Hollywood premiere.Sprinklers of sweat pop up on my forehead. Don't let's end up like that other time after I found those underpants. tell me - how do you feel about what's happened?''Just wrecked. loudly. and to sickness.' says Leona. I feel sick to my fucken stomach. the way they do. but we drive past all of it.