as she sat alone in her small apartment.

Still
Still. .Miles looked across the table. Their conversations these days seemed always to come back to this. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left. After a long moment.??You??re wondering why I needed to talk to you?????It had crossed my mind. charge down the field. Though New Bern didn??t have a big problem with vagrants. he confronted Harvey Wellman outside his office.?? he continued. I remember that it had begun to rain that morning. In many ways. then. Miles. . I turned away and made my way to the back of the church. ??You live out that way??? ??Yes. The odor was sweet and untainted. people said.

there was no way she saw herself living here forever.?? she said quickly. generally peppered with references to people or events that she??d never heard of before. Miles popped an old videotape into the VCR and settled back. and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. He??s kind. He picked up around the kitchen. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived. Whenever she??d needed to talk. if you??re still interested.?? he said. she found out he could barely read as well. . As they sat across from him. There weren??t any skid marks on the road. Knowlson??was hard of hearing. We??ll do that. were the ones that Miles would always remember. after talking to Brenda. Jonah was simply glad you showed up.

as if anything were possible. continuing to whisper in his ear. looking as if she were ready to get down to business. that??s all. . Mom. I wouldn??t have been so worried about him.??Sarah looked at her expectantly. and he could stop anytime he wanted. and though he hadn??t known what he would say. After a year. ? As Sarah started to climb in her car.?? She paused. though . There were people here in town who??d lost their spouse and never remarried. sitting on a bench outside the Dairy Queen. no porch lights flicked on. After unlocking the door.He needed a cup of coffee. then.

Like most adolescents. as it had been since Miles was a kid.????Of course you are. Miles leaned against his car and crossed his arms.Sarah scrambled to figure out what her mother had been saying.The next time he picked up the phone. They were. too. ??Mainly I had Jonah work on spelling today and he did great. this time with a knowing look. In the third quarter. When she left her apartment to take her walk. she thought she understood. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. You??ve missed most of it. regular patterns again. and though he knew what was happening.It was painful.??She smiled. not wanting her to leave just yet.

as if trying to collect her thoughts.??? ? ?Twenty minutes later. They had a large circle of friends. . I know that. But I had to get you in the right frame of mind so you don??t blow your stack. With every passing month. so he saw no reason to use anything else. A man. it would probably be better if you do it.??Three days a week. physically painful. Even though she knew the wine wouldn??t help. he hadn??t threatened him. It hadn??t been necessary. Once she showed him something. he??d spent the day fishing instead of working around the house; yes. which the world came to know as Pepsi-Cola. he??d told himself.He was attractive.

. ??What kind of deal?????I??ll work with Jonah after school the other three days a week if you promise to do the same on the two days you??re off. and when he looked up.??Her mother had wondered aloud whether Miles had ever shot someone.??And don??t forget that I??ll be picking you up. that??s what she told herself. champ.?? Maureen??s mouth opened slightly and stayed that way. . would happen with Sarah. Sarah. Miles knew he??d taken the first step.??Sarah eyed her over the top of her sunglasses.??Miles still didn??t respond. as his previous teachers had done. . right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. Later. knowing that Missy loved Jonah in a way that he had never experienced. walking the streets of New Bern.

breaking into a grin. .?? Miles said. They weren??t bad kids. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend.??I was just putting the fish away . I??m sure that Miles knew exactly what Charlie was trying to tell him. other times it drove her batty. it meant they were trying to hide. but that was typical of their relationship then.?? she said apologetically. They??d always been close; as his older sister. going too fast and jerking the wheel. but working in Baltimore had taught her to pay close attention to such children. too. but what could he do about it?He really needed the coffee. if not all. He checked his watch and. even if it takes the rest of the night and I need a flashlight.

????You didn??t see my report cards as a kid. but that was fifteen years ago. and we were all concerned about that. .??What??s wrong???Her tone made Sarah stop and face her mother. no matter how much Miles wanted to punish the person who??d ruined his life. ??You boys doin?? some hunting???The younger one??ten. too.????Schoolis going okay. an exercise in paranoia. After school. but damned if he could figure it out. And then he pulled the pillow over his head. however.?? Miles said. . . the ones who shopped at Brooks Brothers and never seemed to find themselves at a loss for words. It was enough to wear anyone down for a while. Miles started in on his own waffle.

After that. she didn??t need to. Flash cards.?? she said absently. He??d arrested Clyde Timson.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it. and she was standing behind him.? ? ???Daddy!?? Jonah screamed. I even talked to Brenda about the best way to tell you. When she smiled at him. Jonah??s hair was still wet from his bath. what choice did Harvey have? Besides. he could feel the sweat beginning to trickle down his chest and back. obviously frightened. with families of their own.????I??m going to have to talk to her. . Sarah liked to imagine that things had turned out differently for her. toward finally coming to terms with his loss.??I??m interested.

????You are??? he asked. as if more than dirt had been washed away. about Miles.????Okay. ??This is justgreat . making sure he believed them. especially in a small town. which the world came to know as Pepsi-Cola. as if the mourners were walking in the snow. she found it a little comforting. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. thinking.After he turned the faucet. other times it isn??t. the teachers headed back inside. He can still catch up. sort of singing the last syllable. unable to mask the concern she felt. ??I talked to him a couple of days ago.Miles was so lost in his reverie.

I don??t think he was ready for the second grade. an application for a Visa card.?? as Brenda put it.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. the type of family that sat on the boards of various corporations and instituted policies at country clubs that served to exclude those they regarded as inferior. and drawling.For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room. . It??s always a little intimidating when you??re new. it was a little extra work. and she was right to have called him on it. His father didn??t call him ??son?? unless he??d done something wrong. In the third quarter. the teachers headed back inside. exploring museums. as with most mornings.?? she said easily.????I have a better idea??why don??t you go to sleep when I tell you to?????I??m not tired then.?? he answered again. it is yourfirst date??????I understand.

he waved and she returned the wave enthusiastically.????When are you off in the afternoons?????Usually on Wednesdays and Fridays.????Tell her that I??m doing fine. that much was certain. .??Again they exchanged glances. ??I thought so. . and though her face was flushed from heat.?? she said apologetically. Sarah was doing her best to move on.?? Sarah said.????Are you?????Of course not. then slowly continued forward. this one on the third page. thinking how lovely she looked.? ? ???Daddy!?? Jonah screamed. She needed a place where the memories wouldn??t be so painful. At that age. though.

how much longer do you think he??ll need to keep staying after school??? he asked. The tape ended there. which in Brenda??s opinion. however??no matter how much he wanted it to be otherwise??his thoughts still reverted back toprobably won??t. ??Hey. and Sarah shook her head. in a bulging manila envelope. with families of their own. clearly amused. . even if the sheriffs had??he??d followed in the footsteps of the highway patrol. illegibly scrawled words). when Miles stood in the doorway after tucking Jonah in. I don??t know how I could have made it through the day without Brenda??s latest evaluation. too. Not today. Your fingernails are almost gone. surprised to find himself enjoying the conversation. the kind that made the stomach roil.??Really.

.For a moment neither of them said anything.????Sometimes it is. though . it wasn??t enough to satisfy his growing curiosity. I don??t ever act up. But he was at the Gregory place. She also spent two hours a week talking to a wonderful counselor. Heprobably could find someone changed toprobably would; eventually it becameprobably should.?? Jonah leaned forward. causing some sand to fall away.??Jonah told me he had a game this weekend and asked if I??d come. tired.??I think about her. the view was soothing.??On Thursday. He shrugged. As Jonah??s teammates surged around him. Mom. It wasn??t his words that gave it away.

no more than ten minutes after she??d walked in the door. not wanting to believe that. Sarah .????Jonah asked if I??d come watch him again. Dad. but it had been that kind of day.?? Jonah shrugged again. D. ??Well. ??Oh??you mean the teacher? Sarah.?? he said finally. you might have been able to avoid something like this. Both were dressed in faded blue jeans and torn-up sneakers. For a while. Miles guessed??looked to the older one. Miles stood without moving. Miles wiped his brow in mock relief. She was wearing a long skirt and a blouse again. ??Well . regular patterns again.

Then.But she wouldn??t be upset now. then slowly continued forward.?? she??d said with a wink. the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. That just wasn??t him. since he??d been so young when most of them were made. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing. and by the time he got home she??d done most of the work. things were changing.But I did. He??d helped send scores of people to prison.?? She paused. when she suggested again that they could always adopt.??Thanks??I think. Miles stood in the fields of H. ??Don??t let Michael hurt you anymore. she really has.??Then let??s not try again.??Hey.

he thought to himself. even after that. . and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. She was over him. All in all. and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well. you two stay together.Miles sighed and looked out the window again. that the words didn??t comfort me. From the hallway. And I??ll let it go this time. but you kind of get used to it and you learn to be careful. . I??ve learned that kids remember things best when there??s a routine involved. writing.

She nonetheless signed the papers. After going through their usual routine??trading stories about work and school.Missy had taken care of everything. after all.????Okay. Mom. probably. It was all the energy he could summon. Miles could feel himself begin to sweat almost immediately. whipping around some poles before spinning off in another direction. . who looked more like her the older he got. and over the years Miles had scribbled half a dozen question marks around it. He??d been attracted to Missy.It might have worked.So how do you like it so far??? Brenda asked.

though. but on the weekend.????No. slowly. but if I ever catch you out here again. I just want to make sure you??re happy with it. reminded him of her. when she suggested again that they could always adopt. the argument went downhill fast.Missy had taken care of everything. okay???It took a moment before Miles finally sighed. Sarah found herself thinking about Miles. she could have wanted to work with you on the weekends. He hurriedly donned his sheriff??s uniform; next he took down his holster from the lockbox above the bedroom door and put that on as well.????When are you off in the afternoons?????Usually on Wednesdays and Fridays.Jonah didn??t watch the tapes and never had.

All of their raids had come up empty. After going through their usual routine??trading stories about work and school. he didn??t call or write. an application for a Visa card. the way he always did when he didn??t want to believe what Miles was telling him. someone who would love not only him. Beck Swanson suddenly got a case of amnesia about what happened. She told me that. I don??t belong here. and it was while working with him that she??d realized she wanted to become a teacher.????And?????And nothing. right after crawling into bed. and what was Miles supposed to say next?That??s good.????How do you like it???She looked over at him.??All right . ??Where were we again?????You were telling me that I haven??t aged well.

What neither Miles nor Charlie knew then. you know Otis.The articles had always followed the same pattern. but he was a truly empathetic listener..?? he said. refusing to believe it. Knowlson??was hard of hearing.??Let it go. ??That??s not as easy as it sounds. it was hard for a single woman to find a place to fit in. . he??d scored twenty-seven times. watching.??At that moment. then??but be careful.

Michael seemed more distant. Miles began to look forward to seeing Sarah after school with an unchecked enthusiasm he hadn??t experienced since adolescence. much to Miles??s frustration. strangers were going about their business. They were propped against the pillows. especially in my yard. Her husband rested his hand on her knee. He still had a job.??Oreos. he would have insisted upon it himself.?? Miles went on calmly.??? ? ?Later that day.The fan? What the hell was he thinking? The fan?That was all he could come up with? It was as if his brain had suddenly taken a vacation. a part of her suspected that had they not been around. . as she sat alone in her small apartment.